Experience travel is having a moment.
We can't just go to Europe this summer; we have to plan it around a week of cycling in France that delivers us to the doorstep of La Défense Arena in time for the Eras Tour. We can't just go to the beach to read trashy novels and eat chips; we must organize all of our closest friends for a weeklong silent retreat where every day begins with 5 a.m. yoga and a 19-mile hike to a monastery in matching Instagram-ready sundresses.
We need to take sleep retreats, mancations, earlymoons — I'm exhausted just thinking about it all.
We've all seen the data over the last year from economists and credit card companies showing how Americans increasingly prioritize spending on experiences such as travel over practical goods such as new cars or houses.
But while the sentiment seems clear — people want authentic experiences, not humdrum things! — I fear we've crossed the line and are turning those experiences into things, telling travelers that they need more, bigger and better experiences that honestly create more stress in the long run.
I had a conversation last week with a friend who'd just returned from an epic vacation, and we talked about that feeling you get when you come back to real life after a great trip. That "what am I even doing with my life?" feeling that morphs into so many other emotions, some high and some low.
The conversation kept me up that night, thinking about that definition of travel feelings, which are so different from travel experiences.
I've had great travel experiences. I like to look back at the photos, think about neat stuff I've seen and done. But honestly, I don't often remember a lot of details about the specific experience.
What stays with me from travel are the feelings, and the best feelings don't always result from the notable experiences. Walking the Great Wall of China was a notable experience, but the feeling I associate with it was of oppressive crowds and crushing heat. The feeling I most remember from that trip? The sidesplitting laughter in the van on the ride to the Great Wall when my group realized the van's passengers before us had been goats and that's why it smelled so bad.
I realized that I don't travel to chase the experiences; I travel to chase the feelings. Here are the two big feels that endure for me:
First is the realization that the world is full of so many different people, and we all have stories and connections that become apparent in different places. I love to notice how no matter the language or culture barrier, we all smile at children on trains in similar ways, and have bizarre conversations with Uber drivers in any city. And when I don't feel like talking to anyone when I travel, I love to slide into the anonymous river of people walking down a busy city street and remember that me and my problems are just a tiny speck.
The other big feel I love is the reminder travel gives me that I can do anything. Travel is tough. Solo travel is especially tough. The feeling of accomplishment and confidence after any kind of trip is a high.
The best part is that these feelings are stoked by every kind of travel. They're not reserved for the big, epic, destination trips. I can't emphasize this enough: Absolutely any trip — whether it's to Italy for a month or Detroit on a Monday — can evoke the good feelings of belonging and accomplishment.
So I argue that really it's not about the travel experiences in the way we first think about them; it's about the feelings that accompany any experience when we're in a different place. I don't care about crossing certain museums or historical sites off my list. Nope. I'm chasing the feeling.
Thoughts? Email me, or find me on Twitter or LinkedIn.
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